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Showing posts with label Marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Marriage. Show all posts

Thursday, August 19, 2010

PNOY says no to divorce

President Benigno Aquino III is not in favor of Gabriela party-list Luzviminda Ilagan and Emerenciana de Jesus' proposal to legalize divorce in the Philippines. However, he is in favor of estranged couples to remarry after being legally separated. In his statement, he disagrees with what happens in Las Vegas where people get married in the morning and gets divorce in the afternoon. 

The main difference of Divorce and legal separation is that estranged legally separated couples are not allowed to remarry while people who have gone through divorce are. Before couples are legally separated, they would have to undergo a long procedure to prove that their marriage is indeed irreparable. 

In my opinion both legal remedies are does not benefit the children of the union. I think they shouldn't let legally separated couples to marry. Approving such measures would legal separation a few steps away from becoming what a divorce should be. 

I know a lot of people who are legally separated or have chosen to have their marriage annulled. Either way their children are the one who suffer most. My friend's child has shown behavior of rebellion as early as 3 years old. I am neither a Psychologist nor do I have a working knowledge with how the mind works but it has an effect on their children. I have another friend whose husband is away since he is working abroad. Her child is somehow is not easy to discipline and doesn’t respond well when scolded. He seems to look for a lot of attention and get jealous of his younger sibling. You could argue that it maybe because of the upbringing of the child but I think that a child needs both of his parents.

On the other side, divorce is beneficial to partners who are experiencing any form of abuse. If the marriage is doing more damage than good, maybe it is ok to have a divorce. However who would decide on this? Who would decide whether a marriage is irreparable? Are the judges equipped with the right tools to make the right decision?

We would expect objections from the Catholic Church. And who would blame them. I myself don’t entirely agree with divorce but to those who are experiencing abuse form their spouse would definitely agree with this. I still believe that marriage is meant to last and every couple should stick with one another until the end.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Philippine Divorce bill


The Gabriela party-list group is now pushing for a revision in the Philippine divorce bill. House bill 1799 or “An Act introducing divorce in the Philippines” was filed by Representatives Luzviminda Ilagan and Emerenciana de Jesus. As expected the bill was opposed by fellow lawmakers in the House of Representatives and the Catholic Church. According to De Jesus, annulment is too costly and psychological incapacity (A ground for annulment) is often very difficult to prove. They also state that people that the current option for couple for estranged couples with “irreparable marriage is limited. Legal separation does not allow couples to remarry.

Cavite Representative Elpidio Barzaga said that the family is the foundation of a good citizenry and that absolute divorce would weaken the solidarity of the family. “It encourages married couples who have differences immediately seek divorce, though differences can still be reconciled” Barzaga added. Parañaque Rep. Roilo Golez said “that is like giving a married couple a Weapon of Mass Destruction that they can use against each other even for petty, solvable marital problems.”

I do agree with the Cavite representative. If an option like divorce is available for couples who are having marital problems, they will surely be tempted to seek it and would not make the effort of making the marriage work. But isn’t that the real purpose of marriage. Of course no marriage is smooth sailing. There are always rough patches. But the purpose of getting married is to surviving rough patches and try to work out things out.
On the other hand people who are victim to domestic abuse might need this. There are a lot of women who are victim to marital violence every day. In 2009, 72% of violence and abuse against women are wife battery. All in all that are 6,783 cases in 2009.

The church has been constantly voicing out opposition to divorce. Bishop Oscar Cruz that in the absence of divorce, the church can declare a marriage void if domestic violence is proven. But how exactly would they do that and how long would the process take?

The Philippines along with Malta are the only two countries in the world that does not have a divorce law. However, Divorce used to be practiced under the 1935 constitution. It was removed in the new civil code. Divorce law was removed on August 30, 1950.

On a related note, Senator Loren Legarda wants to the 10-year-old Solo Parents act that gives additional benefits to single parents. Senate Bill 1439 proposes that single parents be provide with 10 percent discount when purchasing clothing and clothing materials for child for two years from child birth; 15 percent discount for baby’s milk, food and food supplements and 15 percent discount for medicine and other medical supplements of a child. This is a good bill. I personally know a lot of single parent who were left by their partners and does not give support to their child. This bill would be beneficial to them.

Another Party-list Rep has given his support to the controversial reproductive health bill which is opposed by conservative lawmakers and the Catholic Church. The bill is deemed immoral by the church and that bill would only encourage the youth to have premarital sex. This maybe true but with the evolution of the internet, sex related materials are readily available to those who are consider to young to learn about sex. I think it would be better that teenagers nowadays are informed and they should be informed properly.

Divorce may have its pros and cons. I personally am in the middle. I believe that getting into marriage one must be prepared to stick with their spouse through the hard and good times. But I understand those who are in marriage who fall victim to abuse. There are a lot of parents who are either Alcoholics, drug addicts and are polygamous. They would have a negative effect on their children. They are the biggest victims of all of this. They will be the one to suffer most. But it all comes down to choice. It all comes down to who will benefit from this law.  

Monday, May 3, 2010

I am going to be a daddy to a baby girl!

Sometimes It feels surreal that I would be a dad in just a few months. I sometimes forget that a baby  is growing in my wife's womb. But every time I could feel my child moving and kicking in my wife's womb, It reminds me that a miracle is growing within my wife's body.

Some Couples don't want to know the gender of their child before they are born. They want to keep it as a surprise. Not me. I wanted to know since my wife found out that she was pregnant. It actually doesn't matter if the child is a boy or a girl. What matters is that the child healthy.

After several ultrasound we have confirmed that we will be parents to baby girl. Time really flies. A few years ago, I wouldn't have imagined that I would be a dad this soon. It was unexpected but it was a delightful surprise. We are lucky because there are a lot of couples out there who are so eager to have a child but have not yet been bless with one. In my opinion, marriage is not complete without a child. 

I wanted to be sure before buying things for our child. My wife and I have started to buy the baby's things a month ago. Since we were not sure of the gender back then, we were buying things with neutral color. Most of the things that we have bought then were colored white. But now since we know that we will be having a baby girl, we started buying girl clothes. Mostly are color pink.

We haven't fully decided the name of child. But I like the name Mikhaila which comes from Michael which means light.We are still discussing about a second name. Since Mikhaila is my choice the second name would be decided by my wife. Fair enough right? I can't wait until our little baby girl is born.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Proposed 10-year expiry on marriage

Well in my opinion, this is one of the most ridiculous proposals that I have heard. Margie Tajon, president of the 1-Babae Astig Aasenso (1-ABAA) party-list group, suggests that the proposal for 10-year expiration on Marriage would strengthen marriage and not destroy it. Tajon said in an interview over Morning at ANC, that this would allow couple to reassess the status of their relationship. One of her arguments states that it would benefit incompatible pairs who would have to undergo a tedious and lengthy process to annul their marriage.


She said that “Marriage annulment cases are clogging up our courts and we have to find a means to address the problem”. There were 8,000 annulment cases reported in 2008 according to the Solicitor’s general’s office. And there are still more being deliberated in courts.

This is not the solution. I do understand that there are many people who couldn’t stand being married a minute longer, but what would happen to the children if this proposal takes effect. This may be beneficial to estranged couples but their children would be the one to suffer the most. It’s like saying on the 1st day after the 10th year of Marriage; a married person could do anything they want without regarding their responsibility and loyalty to their family.

I think it is a good thing that it is very tedious to have marriage annul. It would give a couple a chance to work things out. When a driver’s license expires, a person could not drive a vehicle until the person renews their license. Would this apply to the proposal? What would be the guidelines for this proposal? So let’s say the marriage license expired on Jan 1 and would be renewed on Feb 1, so would that mean a married person is good as single during those days that the marriage is expired? So does that mean a married person could be polygamous until the person renews their marriage license?

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